Our colleagues in the department of ethnography and pre-history of the colonies at the University of Lewisham in the UK have notified us today of the discovery of a hitherto unknown journal by a midshipman abroad the Bark Endeavour. In this precious document appears a portrait of Cook ‘dressed’ as what the artist describes as ‘the noble savage’. What is even more astonishing is the artist’s inclusion of what can only be a space rocket over Cook’s left (and bare) shoulder. The journal is currently undergoing forensic tests to establish its authenticity, with one [tiresome and ambitious] early career scholar already noting that Cook was but a mere lieutenant in 1770.
Other historians, however, have begun to ponder what Cook is doing wearing but a simple thong, sword and naval hat. Is this an attempt to reveal to the custodians of the land that he, Cook, is underneath all his regalia simply a human being like them and comes in peace to ‘Make Space for Everyone’? Is that why Amazing Rocket Ship was there to ensure this message was received? One can only wonder at what a difference there might have been had Cook listened.